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Books you should have before the Zombie hordes swarm the planet

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  1. dw

    Book review

    Survival in the Zombie America

    Chap 1 – Communication the key/Understanding Zombie Body Language (They are pissed 24/7 is all you need to know)

    Chap 2 – Feeding Etiquette/Do Not Talk While Feeding (You are either quietly eating or the Screaming Main Course)

    Chap 3 – What to Wear (Zombies Have No Dress Code but the More Ragged the Less Conspicuous)

    Chap 4 – Making Friends (Zombies are very emotional but have very short term memory – A brain share ensures trust for approx. 5 minutes. By the same token piss one off and he usually forgets before he can act)

    Chap 5 – Zombie Sex (If You want to survive you must grope and be groped. Copulation is not possible for Zombies, do not
    get carried away or you will be exposed and eaten)

    Chap 6 – Zombie Politics (Little is known other than they are hostile wandering self absorbed communialists that are always

    Chap 7- The Zombie View of the Handicapped.(As long as you have at least one arm to grab food you are accepted.
    Legless Zombies are utterly ignored and serve only as a food source for each other)

    Chap 8 – Zombies and the Second Amendment (Zombies were Democrats in life and will bury every gun they come across.
    If you carry conceal know that technically you are frisked during groping)

    chap 9 – Zombie Comradeship (joining an occupy movement is the only way to gain experience in Zombie comradeship before the invasion)

    Chap 10 – Zombie End Game (wander aimlessly untill all the foods gone)

    Posted on 04-Apr-12 at 01:49 | Permalink

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